I dunno what to do in my life.
And I can do a lot.
I'm smart and talented and have a lot of potential.
But what my mom wants for me and what I want for are different. And I have NO idea what God wants for me. I'll figure it out eventually, I guess. God'll probably eventually get so fed up with me being a complete retard and not seeing the obvious, and of course he'll knock me over the head with divine inspiration.
I could be a...
Psychologist.
Psychiatrist.
Medical Doctor.
Nursing Practitioner.
Author.
Artist.
Cartoonist.
Graphic Designer.
Musician.
Speaker.
Preacher.
Missionary.
Homeless Person.
and so much more.
The problem is, I don't know what is best for me. In fact, only God knows that, and I don't know how exactly to give up everything to Him. Quite frankly, I don't even know if He needs me to finish high school. Like I said before, I'm a smart kid. And I have a library full of information. If I want to know about, say, "Modern Probability Theory and Its Applications," then I can simply take the book from the shelf next to me and read it. I can probably do pretty good on the GED right now, before even my first day of high school.
You know what? Right now, I'm looking for something. And I don't know what. It's a piece of me, and I don't know what it's in. But when I find that out, I'm ripping that piece of me out of it, and giving it to God. He needs to control me, and I need to stop resisting.
Oh geez. I've seen what God can do. Not all of it, of course, only a small fraction. And I plan to see a lot more in my lifetime. I know that God will do great things with me, to glorify Him. I really just want to do things for God. I love Him, I really do. And He loves me infinitely more. So I want to forever be a bright light in a dark place. I want the fire in me to become an inferno.
So. My few readers, I'm sure you are done with my ramblings. And I'm sure that you couldn't understand where I was going with that. I'm sure that you can tell how much in need of guidance I am. Bleh. Good night all, and God bless.
